HomeFoodOpinion: Is Brexit the Martian Plan to Finish Meals Manufacturing?

Opinion: Is Brexit the Martian Plan to Finish Meals Manufacturing?

Ten years in the past, I attended a gathering organized by our village priest. He was within the phenomenon of migration from Japanese Europe and wished to debate methods to assist financial migrants combine into our area people.

I used to be the one farmer there. Inevitably, this was staged on the busiest time of the agricultural calendar – filming season.

I bear in mind the chaplain passionately saying, “We desperately want these employees. We simply haven’t got Britons for this job. Would you somewhat have your meals produced by people or robots? “

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concerning the creator

Matthew Naylor

Writer of the weekly farmers evaluation

Matthew Naylor is the managing director of Naylor Flowers in Lincolnshire, which grows reduce flowers and potatoes for supermarkets. He’s a Nuffield Analysis Fellow, a mentor to the Prince’s Belief, and a board member of the Marshal Papworth Basis.

“I need robots!”

“Robots!” – sharply and unexpectedly barked a girl from the depths of the corridor. She ignored the truth that it was a rhetorical query. She enthusiastically embraced her theme: “Robots, I need robots.”

All of them circled. These days, you would describe it as “Brexity”, however then we did not have that phrase. It was not invented. Then we used extra awkward phrases like “straight, feathery child boomer.”

“Robots!” she repeated once more, like a defective robotic. She wouldn’t have scored many factors as a panelist on Wait a minute

Her intervention considerably upset the chaplain. In native church buildings, religious Poles and Lithuanians gathered once more, coming to companies, in all probability to hope that it could not be too humid and chilly in the course of the choosing of Brussels sprouts on Sunday afternoon.

One other ideology

The chaplain clearly disliked the concept of ​​dropping these new members. He did not need to get replaced by a bunch of androids programmed with a very completely different ideology.

I used to be not fascinated by her argument both. I did not like her thought of ​​a village with out folks.

Trying again on this incident, I got here up with a darkish conspiracy idea.

What if she was truly a robotic? What if she was despatched by an clever alien lifeform to unfold propaganda about food-producing robots as the start of their plan to take over planet Earth?

Take heed to my idea, it is cool. We naively assumed that the outcomes of the EU referendum had been purchased by worldwide billionaires and Russian President Putin, hoping to capitalize on the cut up within the EU.

However what if the Martians had been truly behind it?

World Struggle I started when a submarine sank the Lusitania with all our beef and bacon. Struggle usually revolves round meals.

Corrupt palms

The Martians have already satisfied most individuals that meals manufacturing with machines is okay. When all the facility to supply meals is in just a few corrupt palms, they will simply reprogram machines.

Robotic lawnmowers will transfer to our vegetable gardens. The GPS-controlled hoes will all of the sudden transfer 5 cm to the suitable. Earlier than you possibly can say, “Somebody has learn an excessive amount of science fiction these days,” humanity is destroyed.

I used to suppose that an alien invasion can be like Struggle of the Worlds, with huge steel spiders capturing laser beams at Massive Ben and Boris Johnson’s trouser seat.

In fact not. Why would they damage him when he’s already their most important ally within the destruction of British agriculture?

Nicely. At the very least we’ve got the final chortle. If the Martians don’t transfer, there will likely be no pure sources left for them, and the Earth in any case will likely be helpful solely as a galactic dump.

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